The Founder of Action Chapel International, Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams, has opened up about the challenges of balancing his ministry with family life, particularly in his role as a father.
According to him, his inability to balance the demands of both roles, as a minister of the gospel and a father, has led to a disconnection between him and his children.
In one of his services, the renowned preacher shared that this realisation only came to him as he continued to age and mature.
“As I have grown and matured now, I check out on a lot of things, and I realised certain errors I made. When I was growing up, I got married at the age of 23. I didn’t understand a lot of things. Ministry was tough in those days, so my life was always on the road; I was always gone. At the time, I could go for six weeks and sometimes eight weeks to North and South America and Asia to be able to make ends meet and be able to take care of the family because the church could not take care of me. I learned very early not to depend on tithes, offerings, or people, because that will wound you. I had one experience, and I told myself I was not going to depend on anybody but God.
“When I look back and look at the lives of my kids, I realise that there is a vacuum that has been created, and it will take a lot of grace and wisdom to bridge that gap. This was what created the vacuum; I was never there,” he stated.
Despite providing for their material needs, Duncan-Williams acknowledged the emotional void his absence created.
To him, the lost emotional connection with his children cannot be replaced by anything, but only by the love of a father.
“I provided the school fees, and I made sure they had everything they needed, but I was never there. Then I will go. Even when I come, most of the time I am tired, and by the time I wake up in the morning, they’ve left for school.
“Because I wake up and pray at midnight and go back to sleep, by the time I wake up, they’ve left for school. By the time they come back, I am in the office and by the time I get back from the office, they are asleep… and it went on for many years. It was later that I realised the revelation that I was an absentee father, and even though I lived with them and cared for them, I lacked understanding of many things.
“… That is, it is not just providing; you need emotional connection, and it wasn’t there. So, they had to raise themselves, and they got to learn to be survivors and create some things to fill the void, but nobody can fill that void, and nothing can fill it except the love of a father,” he added.
Watch the full video below, as shared on Facebook: